15 “Didn’t Matter Had Sex” Moments In Video Games
Toonacious
Published
03/22/2021
in
eww
Gaming and sexual themes have a history. From the 8bit NES games to the high-quality 3D games of 2021, there has been a fair number of titles that have featured sex scenes.
Let's look at some of these moments that can only be stated as "Didn't Matter Had Sex."
Let's look at some of these moments that can only be stated as "Didn't Matter Had Sex."
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1.
Grand Theft Auto V - There's quite a bit of mature content in GTA V. From picking up hookers to the sex tape mission. But the iconic moment comes right in the main story when Trevor is introduced. The mission is bold, especially because it immediately shows Trevor killing Ashley's boyfriend after having sex with her. Pretty demented, to be honest. -
2.
The Witcher - There are too many romantic moments in The Witcher series to count. For example, The Witcher one has Geralt hook up with Triss, Vesna, Peasant Woman, Abigail, Shani, Morenn, Half-elf Woman, Prostitutes, and many more. The number is so high that it's almost ridiculous, especially if you consider the plot's seriousness. -
3.
Terminator: Resistance - Understandably, procreation is needed to help the human race, especially in a world that's full of machines trying to take over. But our guy, Jacobs, is a different breed entirely. His encounter with Baron can only be explained as "didn't matter had sex." By the time the scene ends, Baron can be heard telling Jacob, "Dismissed." -
4.
Saints Row IV - While sex in Saints Row IV is a hilarious parody of Mass Effect, it suffers from the same sense of awareness. In a pseudo-Matrix-like setting, the players can interact with their crewmates and screw mates. All the while forgetting that the aliens are out there and can render them obsolete. -
5.
The Sims - EA's popular life simulation title is known for some crazy things, including the hilarious ways people interact. But everything becomes really dark when a player decides to force the characters into intimacy while setting their house on fire or something else crazy. There are countless examples of "didn't matter have sex" in The Sims series. -
6.
Ride to Hell: Retribution - When Ride To Hell has first announced, it seemed like a pretty interesting game. Sadly, by the time it was released, the game had only a fragment of the original ideas, and one of those is the inclusion of sex scenes. The fully clothed, highly caricaturish scenes were hilarious at best. -
7.
Metro: Last Light - In the second Metro game, Anna fears she has been exposed to a killer virus. What does she do next? Risk infecting others and Artyom by seducing him into sex. -
8.
Mass Effect - The Bioware masterpiece is considered one of the best sci-fi stories ever told. That's all thanks to its interesting lore and a high-paced story. But even with a threat like collectors and reapers, the game has some random inter-galactic sex encounters thrown in at crucial points in the story. It's debatable if these scenes are worth it, but the fact that they are a part of a game where the stake of the whole world is on the line makes them hilarious. -
9.
Mass Effect - The Bioware masterpiece is considered one of the best sci-fi stories ever told. That's all thanks to its interesting lore and a high-paced story. But even with a threat like collectors and reapers, the game has some random inter-galactic sex encounters thrown in at crucial points in the story. It's debatable if these scenes are worth it, but the fact that they are a part of a game where the stake of the whole world is on the line makes them hilarious. -
10.
Custer's Revenge - The 1982 classic title may be considered funny for its visuals, but its concept is pretty dark. The players control a cowboy-looking man, Custer. The goal is to rape a Native American woman tied on a pole after avoiding arrows. -
11.
Far Cry 3 - Who would've seen this one coming? The main character Jason kills Citra's brother, then dominates the whole jungle with his actions. Yet, the man gets laid and is rewarded by Citra by having an in-game tribal sex scene in front of everyone. -
12.
Far Cry 3 - Who would've seen this one coming? The main character Jason kills Citra's brother, then dominates the whole jungle with his actions. Yet, the man gets laid and is rewarded by Citra by having an in-game tribal sex scene in front of everyone. -
13.
Heavy Rain - Probably one of the strangest parts is the interactive sex scene between Madison and Ethan Mars. In a game that's all about finding a kid murderer and Ethan's journey to redeem himself as a father, this scene comes in an abrupt, weird, and out-of-place sequence. Seriously, what kind of benefit is there to this scene? What does it contribute to the main story? -
14.
Wolfenstein: The New Order - Having sex can be hard, no puns intended. But The New Order takes that to an alternate nazi controlled world with danger on every corner. Still, it doesn't stop the main protagonist from having sex. No wonder he's known as the B.J. Blazkowicz. -
15.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - Where there's a will, there's away. This is exactly what happened with Hot Coffee Mod that allowed players to see CJ have sex with his girlfriends. But, all of the position switchings can not stop the sexy encounter from being hilarious especially, since the player is doing it without taking off the clothes. -
16.
X-Man - One of the oldest examples of sex in video games is X-Man, where the game's whole motive is to have intercourse. It's a pornographic game made for the Atari 2600 by Universal Gamex. The gameplay consists of avoiding scissors, crabs, or teeth, reaching the end, and enjoy pixel-perfect sex. -
17.
God Of War Trilogy - Throughout the first few main games' campaign, Kratos comes across what can only be described as topless women in an erotic setting. This is where the players are prompted to have some fun with them as a part of a sex minigame. But what's weird is that Kratos is on a personal journey and is seeking revenge for the death of her wife and daughter. And throughout all that, he has time to get laid. -
18.
God Of War Trilogy - Throughout the first few main games' campaign, Kratos comes across what can only be described as topless women in an erotic setting. This is where the players are prompted to have some fun with them as a part of a sex minigame. But what's weird is that Kratos is on a personal journey and is seeking revenge for the death of her wife and daughter. And throughout all that, he has time to get laid.
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